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AMES 1 SERIES OF 

STANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA, 

No. 393. 



^Andy Fpeekles.4^ 



iFARCE. 



WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES AND EXITS, 
RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE 8 
DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMES AND THE WHOLE OF 
STAGE BUSINESS; CAREFULLY MARKED FROM 
THE MOST APPROVED ACTING COPY. 



s^r^ -7 



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ALPHABETICAL LIST OP 



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.H-mes' Edition of Plays. 

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FIFTEEN GENTS EACH UNLESS OTHERWISE HARKED. 



294 

2 

164 

39 

43 
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350 

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DRAMAS. 

Arthur Eustace, 25c 10 4 

A Desperate Game 3 2 

After Ten Years 7 5 

A Life's Revenge 7 5 

Arrahdo Baugh 7 5 

Aurora Floyd : 7 2 

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By Force of Love 8 3 

Beauty of Lyons 11 2 

Bill Detrick 7 3 

Brae, the Poor House Girl.... 4 4 

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Beyond Pardon 7 5 

Conn; or, Love's Victory 11 3 

Clearing the Mists 5 3 

Claim Ninety-Six (96) 25c_.... 8 5 

Dora 5 2 

Driven to the Wall 10 3 

Defending the Flag U 3 

Daisy Garland'.^ Fortune 5 5 

Driven from Home 7 4 

Dutch Jake 4 3 

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Emigrant's Daughter 8 3 

Fielding Manor 9 6 

Gertie's Vindication 3 3 

Grandmother Hildebrand's 

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Legacy, 25c 5 i 

Gyp, The Heiress, 25c 5 4 

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Henry Granden 11 8 

How He Did It 3 2 

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MyPard , 6 5 

Man and Wit 12 6 

Maius Peril 5 7 

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Millie, the Quadroon 5 2 

Miriam's Crime 5 6 

Michael Erie 8 2 

Miller of Derwent Water 5 3 

Mistletoe Bough 7 2 

Mountebanks (The) 6 3 

New York Book Agent 7 2 



NO. M. P. 

C47 Our Country Aunt 4 

223 Old Honesty 

81 Old Phil's Birthday 

333 Our Kittie 

85 Outcast's Wife 

83 Out on the World 

331 Old Wayside Inn, The 

1% Oath Bound G 2 

29 Painter of Ghent 

: 10 3 

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18 Pojioher's Doom 8 3 

280 Pheelim O'Ronkes' Curse. 

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110 Reverses 12 6 

45 Rock Allen 

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266 Sweetbrier 11 5 

mire's DaughW 5 3 

351 The Winning Hand 

144 Thekla 

318 The Adventuress 8 6 

284 The Commercial Drummer. 

212 The Dutch Recruit 2 r .o 14 3 

07 The False Friend 

97 The Fatal Blow 7 1 

119 The Forty-Niners 10 4 

304 The Gene ral M an ager 

93 The Gentleman in Black 9 4 

314 The Haunted Mill 

112 The New Magdalen 

322 The Rbw Recruit 6 

71 The Reward of Crime 5 3 

306 The Three Hats 

105 Through Snow and Sunshine 6 4 

201 Ticket, of Leave Man 

293 Tom Blossom 

193 Toodles 7 2 

277 The Musical Captain 15 2 

om's Cabin 

2:0 Will Mab 

121 Will -o'-the- Wisp 

41 Won at Last 

192 Zion ..... 

TEMP2KA&CE PLAYS. 

73 At Last 7 1 

75 Adrift 5 4 

187 Aunt Dinah's Pledge 

254 Dot; the Miner's Daughter 

202 Drunkard [The] 

runkard's Warning 

189 Drunkard's Doom 

181 Fifteen Years of a Drui 

ard's Life 

183 Fruits of the Wine «'• 

104 Lost 









sb 



PS 2676 

• R4 fl8 
Copy 1 



f Freckles, the 
Mischievous Boy. 



FARCE COMEDY 

IN ONE ACT. 
— BY — 

Bfirt C. Rawlnv, 

Author of "An Aristocratic Gent,'" "Trixie," "Badly Mixed" "Our 
Summer Hoarders," " Deacon Jones' Wife's Ghost," "Stupid 
Cupid," etc., etc. 



TO WHICH IS ADDKD 

A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES-CAST OF THE CHARACTERS- 
ENTRANCES AND EXITS— RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE 

PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE 
OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 



Entered according to act of Conarsa in the year 1898 by 

AMES' PUBLISHING CO., 
in the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. 



AMES' PUBLISHING CO. 

CLYDE, OHIO: 



TMJS MISCHIEVOUS BOY. ;R4 ' 

C4£!Z T OjP characters, 

Ferdinand Freckles, J. P 

Member of the Frcckleville Cornet Band 

Andy Freckles, His beloved son, full of mischief 

Rev. Shadrach Smiley, Keeps an eye on Lucinda 

Willie B. Allbright, A dude 

Amanda Freckles, Tired ofihcd infernal looiin 

Adelaide Freckles, Mr. Freckles' daughter 

Lucinda Mason, ...... .Has a kind regard for Shadrach 

2580 g. 

TIME OF PLAYING— 30 minutes. 



COSTUMES.— Modern. 



PROPERTIES. 

Chairs, sofa, table, music rack, sheet music, musical in- 
strument, paper and pencil for Andy, staffed mouse. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

r., means Right; l, Left; R. H., Right Kami; l. ii. , Left 
Hand; c, Centre; s. e., (2d e.) Second Entrance; u. e. 
Upper Entrance; M. D., Middle Door; F. ; the Flat; d. 
f., Door in Flat; R. c, Right of Centre; l. c, Left of 
Centre. 

R. R. C. C. L. C. L. 

^^Reader is supposed to be upon the stage facing audience. 



Andy Freckles, tha Mischievous Boy. 



SCENE — A richly furnished room in the residence oj 
Ferdinand Freckles — sofa upL. c, tables, c, chairs 
it. and l., c. E., curtained, r. and l. entrance — as cur- 
tain rises, Ferdinand is seated c, playing on a horn, 
music rack wrfh sheet music directly in front of him. 

Ferdinand, (blows in hiyhkey) Sufferin' Jehosapliat, 
but that goes clear out of my jurisdiction. The "Devils 
Galop" indeed, I declare, he must have been wind broken. 
A nice appropriate piece to render at a donation party, and 
only one night to learn the blam d thing in. Weil, if first 
you don't succeed, try again, so here goes. 

(plays discordantly 

Enter, Andy, r. e., throws cap on sofa. 

Andy. Say pa, ma says if you'll stop that infernal 
tootin' till she gets gone to the quiltin' bee, she'll buy you 
a new tin cuspidor for Christmas. 

Ferd. Oh she did, eh! Such geneosity is entirely 
uncalled for,. my boy. You can see that her musical edu- 
cation has been neglecteJ. I have heard your mother 
hum for hours over the dish pan; perhaps she would style 
that music, but I declare it was not tit for cannibals to 
listen too. You may inform my beloved helpmate that I 
am capable of minding my own affairs. 

Andy. I did pa, and she told me that you minded every- 
boly elses, too. (winks at audience 

Ferd. (jumps up) She did, eh! AVonclerful foresight 
I declare. My son, a mother who desires to instruct a son 



4 ANDY FRECKLES, 

in the pathway that leads to true nobility, should never 
class the father with such notorious scoundrels. Minding 
other folkses business, indeed, and now she's goin' to that 
infernal quiltin' bee to gossip and talk about the neigh- 
bors. I tell you, my noble boy, people who live in glass 
houses, should not throw stones. 

Andy. But then ma says you ain't allers to blame. 
She says you were allers, more or less, of a nervous dispo- 
sition. 

Ferd. Nervousness, eh? Your mother is indeed very 
much acquainted with my anatomical construction. ( blows. 
a few discordant blasfs on instrument, stops abruptly) 
Nervous, eh! It's a pity your mother wasn't born tougue 
tied, hair lipped or some other infernal thing. 

Andy, (laughs) Now pa, that's the very thing she 
said about you this very morning, (aside) My, what a 
whopper ! 

Ferd. (rises qu icldy ) What ! The woman I call wife ; 
the woman I have professed to love, to utter such insane 
insinuations. My son, it's unbearable, (walks around 
room rapidly, carrying horn) My noble boy, let not her 
idle talk turn you from the path of rectitude. I confess 
it is enough to turn your head. Oh! 

(blows shrill blast en horn, walks about wildly 

Enter, Amanda Freckles, l. e., in street attire, 

Amanda, (stops c. ) Well, I declare, Ferdinand, is 
that piece you are playing, a wedding march or a descrip- 
tive fantasia. It is beautiful beyond description, a few 
plaintive strains preceded by the shrill toots of a locomo- 
tive and the creaking of a cellar door. Do you call that 



music 



Ferd. (stops suddenly) Indeed! Madam, it is plain 
to be seen that the roar of artillery and the music rendered 
by a brass band are one and the same to you. 

Amanda. You are mistaken, Mr. Freckles, I am an 
excellent judge of good music, but the blood curdling 
blasts, which issue from that brass instrument, would 
drive a Zulu frantic, and I have begun to think, Ferdnand, 
candidly speaking, that the Freckleville Band has one too 
many members. 

Ferd. (angrily) And "that one too many," I suppose, 
is myself. Thoughtless woman. Are you not aware that 



THE MISCHIE VO US BOY. 5 

lam the most influential member of that organization; 
that without me it would be a complete failure — in fact, 
could not exist. My belbve 1 helpmate, my nervous dis- 
position wil] never lead me to accede to your wishes in 
this case. (Ferdinand sits at music rack, looks over music 

Amanda. Very well. Blow to your heart's content, 
but when it comes election day and you find you have 
been beaten in the race for Justice of the Peace, you may 
be sure that the male members of the community have 
had their revenge. (Ferdinand turns music furiously 

Andy, (coming down) Say, ma, how is the Donation 
progressin' ? Sam Bloodgood and I are planum' for a big 
time. 

Ferd. I hope the durn thing will be a grand fizzle. 

Amanda. I'm afraid your hopes will be blasted. 
Every thing is progressing finely, my son, and we expect 
a select company, as it will be an invited one. 

Ferd. Humph! Who's doing the inviting? 

Amanda. The honor was conferred upon me, Mr. 
Freckles, and by the way, I do not know whether it is best 
to invite Lucinda Mason or not. 

Ferd. (jumps up) Well. I guess yes. Why do you 
hesitate ? 

Amanda. Well — well you see, Ferdinand, I thought as 
how Lucinda used to be your old sweet heart, and I did 
not know — 

Ferd. Oh, is that so! Now look here, madam, if 
Lucinda stays at home, I stay at home. I've alius had a 
tender feeling in my heart toward her, and I'm not going 
to see her slighted on this occasion . 

Andy. Pa, did you used to spoon Lucinda? 

Ferd. Well, I should snicker, and for brain and com- 
mon sense, Lucinda has a larger stock than some other 
folks that I know. 

Amanda. That's straight to the point, Mr. Freckles. 
Everybody knows Lucinda Mason, and I shall see that 
she is made the subject of comment at the quiltin' bee this 
afternoon, so there now! (exit, u. e. 

Ferd. Now you see, my son, your mother does not 
practice her preaching, she's off to that infernal quilting 
bee, simply to drag the character of a superior being into 
the dust, and yet that organization is run in connection 
with the church, (jumps up) I say, darn the quilting 



6* ANDY FRECKLES, 

bee, and (Shadrach Smiley appears at c. D. ) darn the 
church that tolerates such an institution. 

Enter, Shadrach Smiley, c. e. 

Shadrach. (holding up hands) Why the idea, Mr. 
Freckles, I am surprised, indeed I am ! 

(Ferdnand drops in chair, fingers over music 

Andy, (aside, R.) Now for a thunder storm. 

Shad. It pains me to hear the church condemned by 
one who's influence for the right has been felt throughout 
the entire community. I hope you have not back slidden, 
Mr, Freckles. 

Andy. Now what does back slidden mean, Mr. Smiley? 

Shad, (brings chair down to c. beside Andy) Only too- 
glad to explain, my boy. You see, we are not led to be- 
lieve that "Once in grace, always in grace." When a man 
confesses his sins and lays them aside, with the resolve to 
live a christian life, he is considered, in grace. (Ferdinand 
steals to c. e., shakes fist, exit, c. e. ) Frequently the 
world and it's allurements influence the man and he falls 
again into his sinful ways, and we class him a back slider. 

Andy. Do you think pa has slid, Mr. Smiley ? 

Shad, (looks around, misses Ferdinand) The situa- 
tion presents that aspect, my boy. Evil spirits are cer- 
tainly exeitiug a deadly influence over him. 

Andy. The only spirits, I know of about this house are 
confined in a barrel of cider down cellar, and pa is pretty 
intimate with them, (aside) Another whopper. 

Shad, The idea! I never knew that your father in- 
dulged in intoxicating drinks. Oh! this is horrible! 

Andy. Oh! y?s, pa alius liked cider, and Deacon Lotus 
swears he can drink twice as many glasses as pa, an' I see 
'em drink five glasses apiece the other day. Pa was sick 
all next day. and Deacon Lotus, you know when he was 
sick with lumbago for 'bout a week, 'twas nothin' only the 
cider. Pa tells ma that he takes it for indigestion, but he 
can't pull the wool over my eyes. 

Shad, (rising, aside) Is it possible that the two most 
influential members of my church are wine bibers. (aloud ) 
My boy, it pains me to hear this dreadful news. I will 
see your father this very day, and beg of him to desist 
from this terrible habit. Good day, my boy. (exit, c. e. 

Andy, (laughs) I'd give a nickle to see pa when he 



THE MISCHIE 1 r US BOY. 7 

speaks to him about the cider. We ain't had a barrel of 
cider in the cellar since I can remember. As to-day is 
April fool's div, I've made up my mind to give pa another 
grand surprise. I alias thought pa cared more for 
Lucinda Mason than he did for ma, and so I've made up 
my mind to cure him of this foolish infatuation and have 
a little fun in the bargain, (takes paper and pencil from 
pocket) I'm just goin' to write Lucinda a nice little note 
and sign pa's name to it, so here goes, (writes and reads ) 
"Dear Lucinda, as I write this note, my mind is wandering 
back to the time when you w T as my sweetheart. Darling, 
let us leave this place and flee to other shores, where we 
may live in happiness. Answer soon. Your loving Ferdi- 
nand Freckles. P. 8. — Meet me to-night at old place." 
There, if that won't work mischief, I'm a spring chicken. 
And now I'll mail it and await results. (exi f , it. E. 

Enter, Ferdinand, followed by Shaduach, c. e. 

Shad. Yes, Mr. Freckles, 1 have noticed that your pew 
in church has been vacant for the past two or three 
Sabbaths at both services. 

Ferd. (grumpily) Well, does that infer that I am 
such a bad man? 

Shad. I acknowledge that there are other tendencies, 
which induce men to rail agains L the church, for instance, 
when under the influence of some intoxicant — perhaps 
cider, (aside) A broad hint indeed. 

Ferd. Y r ou don't mean to say that I indulge in that 
sour slop. 

SJiad. Mr. Freckles, I mean no offense, but I feel that 
I must speak. To-day I have been informed that a 
frequent glass of the intoxicant cider, passed your lips. 
Perhaps Deacon Lotus can also enlighten you on this 
subject. 

Ferd. {angry ) Undoubtedly. So you and Deacon 
Lotus have taken the personal pains to inquire into this 
matter. Let me inform you and your beloved Deacon 
Lotus, that the whole story is false. 

Shad. But Deacon Lotus perhaps is better informed — 

Fad. {};cJls) Xo doubt. The baldheaded old cur- 
mudgeon, I thought he was my friend, but now I see my 
mistake. (walks stage 

Shad. But my dear Mr. Freckle, he is your friend— 



8 ANDY FRECKLES, 

Ferd. Do you think I am blind. Never let him cross 
my threshold. 

Shad. Do not work yourself into a passion, Mr. 
Freckles. 

Ferd. I don't mean to, sir! Hard cider soaker, eh! 
This is too much! I'll killthe first man who dares to in- 
sinuate it. 

Shad. You are excited, Mr. Freckles. 

Ferd. Excited, eh! Who's business is it? Cider sip- 
per! I'll not be called ihat in my own house, and I'll 
never turn a man out, so I'll go myself. (going 

Shad, (stops him) No, no! Mr. Freckle;-, I'll retire 
myself. Calm yourself, I will earnestly pray for you. 

(exit, c. E. 

Ferd. Cornstalks and bean poles, was ever man so 
tormented? I believe I am possessed of the devil. Every 
thing has gone wrong this day. But that cider business 
completely overwhelms me. (Willi •: Allbight appears 
at c. E., Ferdnand jumps up ) Oh! I'm desperate! I'll 
kill the first man I come across. (goes toward c. e. 

Enter, Willie Allbright, c. e., on a run. 

Willie. That's not — aw — right, doncher — aw — know? 
A w — aw — I'm — not — dangerous — doncher know. 

Ferd. (comes to c.) Say, young fellow, you had better 
let some doctor look in your mouth. I think you have 
iD growing teeth. 

Willie. No — no — aw — all right doncher know v only — 
aw — a vewy — aw — peculiar accent to my speech, doncher 
know? Tisn't — aw — natural doncher know, just — aw — put 
on. 

Ferd. Well, if you have any respect for humanity, take 
it off. Well, how did you happen to fly in here? 

Willie. You — aw — are the father of the — aw — beautiful 
Adelaide, I believe ? 

Ferd. Supposed to be, yes. Oh! yes, I see now, per- 
pectly plain. You are one of these French Counts a 
searchin' for an heiress. Well, you've lit in the wrong 
brush heap. She'll only inherit fifty cents, so you might 
as well flit to some other nest. 

Willie, (laughs) Well — aw — aw — I declare — you — 
aw — make me laugh. 

Ferd, Singular, I can't see anything to laugh at. 



THE MISCHIE TO US BOY. 9 

Adelaide appears at door, e., she rushes into Willie's 

arms. 

Willie. Well, Addie, I have found you at last. 

Ferd. (backs to l. ) Jupiter and Mars! Love at first 
sight. Say young fellow, be" careful how you handle that 
gal. (they converse in undertone) Break away there, I 
say! It is evident that he is dead gone, (goes over, pulls 
him away) You don't need ter stand quite so close, sir! 
unless you are rear sighted. 

Adelaide. Father, what do you mean by such rude 
treatment? 

Ferd. The same as any father would, who found a 
stranger a huggin' the life out of his daughter, and I've a 
mind to show him the door. 

Adelaide, (stands in Jvont of Willie) Oh! no you 
won't papa, I'll shield him. 

Ferd. Well I declare Adelaide, you make me sick. 

Adelaide. Oh! do I? I'm sorry, but I'll not see my 
company treated in so rude a manner. Come Willie, we'll 
go into the parlor. {exit, Adelaide and Willie, l. e. 

Ferd. Why the idea, taking that tongue-tied freak 
right into the parlor. I'll keep my eye on him. (sits c. 

Enter, Amanda, c. e. 

Amanda. Well, my dear Mr. Freckles, Lucinda Mason 
has been weighed in the balance and found wanting. . 

Ferd. Indeed? When does the inquisition convene 
again? Perhaps I may be able to scrape up another 
victim. (picJxS up newsjjctj e ■ ) Well, one of your rela- 
tives is in the parlor with Adelaide. 

Amanda. Oh! then he has arrived, has he? Good, I 
have longed to sse him. 

Ferd. You expected him then. Who in tophet is he? 

Amanda. Why, Adelaide's beau, of course. 

Ferd. (jumps) What! I'll beau him. No such a 
freak can beau my daughter. 

(starts toicard l., Amanda stops him. 

Amanda. No! no, Ferdnand, do not interrupt them. 
Think how long it's been since they saw each other. 

Ferd. That don't cut any ice. That feller is no good 
on earth. (Adelaide screams off L.) There! There, do 
you hear that? Perhaps he's murderin' her. 

(tries to go l.. she holds him back 



10 ANDY FRECKLES, 

Enter, Willie, l. e., running). 

Willie. Aw — a glass of — aw water quick, doncher 
know. 

Ferd. A glass of nothin' you murderin' sn ak. 

(exit, Amanda, l. e. 

1 1 r illie. Aw— but she is — 

Ferd, Yes, I expect you've killed her. I've seen such 
fellers as you before. There is the door; now git! 

Willie. Aw — but — 

Fcrd. No buts about it. Git! (exit, Willie, g. e.) 
There, we're rid of him. I wonder what the next will be? 

Enter, Amanda and Adelaide, l. e. 

Amanda. She had fainted, that's all. 

Adelaide. Has it gone, father? 

Ferd. Yes, I just kicked it out of doors. 

Adelaide. The horrid creature, it frightened me out of 
my wits. 

Ferd. Oh! well, don't worry now, it's gone. 

Adelaide. Yes, but it may come again. Haven't you 
a trap, perhaps we could catch it. I shall not feel safe a 
moment until it is captured. 

Ferd. What kind of a trap? 

Adelaide. Why a mouse trap, of course. The horrid 
little creature, I can see it now, as it ran across the floor. 
A nasty little mouse. 

Ferd. Mouse! (aside) It begins to dawn upon me, 
that I've made a fool of myself. Til fix this up as quick 
as possible. (starts toward c. E. 

Amanda. Where are you going, husband ? 

Ferd. (ate. E.) Going to find Willie, I kicked him 
out! (exit, c. e. 

Adelaide, (laughs) Poor Willie. How could father 
he so cruel? 

Amanda. He was rather hasty my child, but he will 
make it all right. Come now, we will go and pick some 
geraniums to send to poor Mrs. Ross. 

Adelaide. Very well, but if poor Willie is hurt, papa 
will have to suffer the consequences. (exeunt, R. E. 

Enter, Andy, c. e. 

Andy. My April fool joke is progressing finely, sooner 
than I expected, for Lucinda and the parson are coming 
toward the house on a keen jump. I'll drop on the lounge 



THE MISCHIEVOUS BOY. It 

and pretend I am asleep, and watch proceedings. 

(lays on lounge 

Enter, Lucinda and Shadrach, c. e. 

Shad. Yes, my dear Miss Mason, I consider it an out- 
rageous insult. I think the man must be taking leave of 
his senses. 

Lucinda. Oh! Shadrach, it is unbearable. (sobs 

Shad. Ah! Lucinda — Miss Mason — you know not how 
I have longed to hear you utter that name. 

Lucinda. Oh! — Mr. — Shadrach — this is so sudden — I 
— I— 

Shad. Doubt not my sincerity, Lucinda. I have kept 
my secret long and faithfully. Oh! Lucinda, do you not 
— have you not seen that I cared for you? 

Lucinda. Oh! Shadrach, this is indeed so sudden, I 
hardly know what to say. 

Shad. Say that you will name the happy day, that you 
will become the future Mrs. Shadrach Smiley. Say this 
and make me the happiest of mortal men. 

Lucinda. Well, Shadrach — yes, if your happiness de- 
pends upon it. 

Shad. God bless you ; but my dear, we forgot our 
mission, (looks!,.) Ah! here comes Mrs. Freckles. 

Enter, Amanda, l. e. 

Amanda. How-de-do, Mr. Smiley! 

Shad, (botes) Is Mr. Freckles at horned 

Amanda. I guess so. Hell be in, in a minute. 

Shad, (uneasy) Ahem! Mrs. Freckles, haven't— 
haven't you noticed that your husband has been rather 
wild and reckless, so to speak, of late? 

Amanda. Sir! Is this the object of your visit. 

Eerd. (outside) Hang yer hat on the peg. You'll 
find Addie some where about the establishment. 

Enter, Ferdinand, c. e. ' 

I found him, Handy, if I did have to walk two miles. 
Hello! got company, (offers hand to Lucinda, tcho re- 
fuses it) Why, how-de-do, Lucinda, I haven't seen you in 
a dog's age. What, refuse to shake hands with your old 
beau. Well I declare, Mandy, she ain't very tickled to 
see me. Well, why don't you all take chairs. 



12 ANDY FRECKLES, 

Shad. We Lave not long to stay, Mr. Freckles. The 
business which we are about to transact, concerns the 
welfare and goo:l name of a lady. 

Ferd. That's a good cause, 1 declare, and if I can be 
of any service, I'm willing. 

Shad. I refer to Miss Lucincla Mason, soon to be Mrs. 
Shadrach Smiley. 

Ferd. Jehosaphat! you and Lucinda going to couple 
up. Good enough, Lucinda. I did awfully hate to see you 
live and die an old maid, and Shadrach, yon both have my 
best wishes, and I shall expect an invite to die wedding. 

Lucinda. Not until this disgraceful affair has been 
settled. I have been greviously insulted, sir! and — 

Fe; d. By whom? Show him to me and I'll thrash 
him. 

Lucinda. Ah! Ferdinand Freckles, don't play the in- 
nocent. It is by you that I have been insulted, and I de- 
mand a satisfactory explanation. 

Amanda. Ferdinand, what is the meaning of this? 

Ferd. Connundrum, Amanda, I'm all in the dark. 

Lucinda. Here Shadrach, read this communication, 
perhaps it will brighten his memory. 

Shad, (fakes paper, reads note writienby Andy) You 
underst nd the object of this visit now, I believe, Mr. 
Freckles. 

Amanda. Ferdinand Freckles, you are in big business, 
I. declare, I wouldn't mind if she'd horse whip you. 

Ferd. I'll take my oath that I never saw that letter. 
There's some big mistake, I'll bet. Let me see it. (takes 
paper, looks edit, looks up, laughs) Why, that's Andy's 
writing, or I am a goose. 

Shad. Don't implicate the boy, Mr. Freckles, unless he 
is guilty. 

Amanda. Here is Andy, ask him. 

(goes to lounge, rouses Mm up and brings him to c. 

Ferd. Kemember George Washington, my boy, when 
you answer the question I am about to ask you. Did you 
write and send that letter to Miss Lucincla Mason? 

Andy, (imitating Lucinda) Oh! this is so sudden- 
yes, I did it with my little hatchet, 

Ferd. Do you know what the penalty for such an act 
is, sir! A good sound thrashing. 

Shad. Did you not know, my boy, that it was wicked 
to bring such disagreeable acts upon the shoulders of your 



THE M ISC HIE VO US BO K IS 

parents? 
Andy. Well, I had a right to, to-day. 

Enier, Adelaide and Willie, c. e. 

Adelaide, (r. c.) Oh! mother, this is April Fool's 
day, and I haven't bien fooled once to-day. 

Andy Oh! you're off. How about the mouse. I carry 
him around in my pocket", just to frighten such timid girls 
as you. (shows s luffed mouse with thread attached 

Shad. I see through the whole arrangement, Mr. 
Freckles. It's all a joke, gotten up by Andy, at our ex- 
pense. Perhaps you think we placed the blame to heavily 
upon your shoulders, but as it is, it is simply a huge joke. 

Lucinda. Yes, Andy, you have fooled us and I think 
we appreciate it. 

Adelaide. What, more jokes? Oh! you wicked boy. 

Ferd. Yes, my daughter, and a real smart one, too. I 
won't relate it now, for it will prove more interesting some 
other time. We've all been big fools to-day, and 1 think 
I have been about the biggest one. Now a little introduc- 
tion is in order, I guess, (introduces Willie to Shade ach 
aud Lucinda) Willie is all right too, Shadrach, although 
lie's been badly misused. 

Shad. Well friends, the day is drawing to a clcse, and 
now that every thing has ended harmoniously, we'll take 
leave, hoping to meet again, under more favorable circum- 
stances. 

Ferd. Very well, but I forgot something. Willie in- 
forms me that he can 'speak in seventeen different lan- 
guages, and knows Websters unabridged by heart, and 
he's promised to entertain us for a half hour, with a sort 
of Choctaw medley at the Donation party, immediately 
after which the Freckleville Cornet band will discourse 
music never heard before outside of Freckleville, and this 
is no April Fool joke either. (all laiujh 

CURTAIL. 

THE END. 



FUN! FUN!! FUN!!! 

THE FUNNIEST COMEDY YET— JUST PUBLISHED, 
ENTITLED 

*** GAPTURED; & 

OR, 

The Old Maid's Triumph, 

Four Acts— Four Male, Five Female Characters. 



Scenery Easily Managed. Costumes Modern. Characters all 

Good- Telling Situations. Susan Tabitha (the old Maid) 

takes the Audience by Storm, as she tries to marry 

every man she meets; if he don't propose she 

does; final success of Susan. If you want 

a play that is full of fun, and 

sure to please you, order a 

copy of CAPTURED. 

PBICE 15 CENTS. 

Act I. — Home- of the Windchester's — Frank Westfield — Arrival 
of the '-Old Maid" ; "I'm tickled een-a-most to death to see you !" 
''Mother Goose's Melodies"— Susan's experience in the stage coach. 
"Only twenty-four, brother." — Christopher Columbus! where am I 
going?"— "I see you, Frankie." — Susan's opinion of Jane.— Polly- 
Amusing love scene between Susan and Frank Westfield — his aston- 
ishment and terror, as she faints in his arms.— Tableau. 

Act II. — Susan's explanation. — "Slang Debolishers Union" — 
"Yon'd better begin at home!"— A widower — "Good land! if I 
could not get something better than a widower, I wouldn't feel fit to 
soar to the land of milk and honey 1"— Sam Sly, Polly's lover, who 
is a widower.— "If he does not propose, 7 will!" — Susan and Sam 
Sly. — Love scene between Polly and Sly, which Susan discovers. 
Her anger, and fall.— Susan and Sly loose their wigs. 

Act III.— Joshua Pratt.— Susan's fear of men.— "Help! help!" 
Discovers Joshua — Kidiculous love scene between Susan and Joshua. 
"There's nothing half so sweetin life, as love's young dream. "-Rats. 
"Help! thieves!"— "It might run up my leg!" — The rescue- 
Susan announces her engagement and determination to go home and 
get married. — The departure. 

Act IV. — Home of Susan Tabitha — Sallie — Discovery of Joshua's 
poverty—Susan's anger and disappointment— "Can we get up ?"-Susan 
cuffs Joshua's ears— Dinner— "Can we eat dinner?" — Susan relates 
her experience to Sallie— Telegram— Arrival and cool reception of 
Charles Westfield and wife— Joshua sleeps— Susan knocks over his 
chair, pulls his hair— A bank check— Susan's promise.— Happy 
ending. 



JUST OUT— A New Temperance Play ! 

■ » ■ 

Hot; the IVIiner's UaughtBr, 

or, 

DnE Glass nf Wins. 

IN FOUR ACTS. 

DRAMATIS PEBSONjE. 

David Mason A farmer. 

Herbert Mason David's son— just from college. 

Royal Meadows Foster-son of Mrs. Clifton. 

Arthur Floyd A villain. 

George Clifton A returned Californian. 

Parson Swift An astonished clergyman. 

Bill Torry A boatman — Floyd's confedeiate. 

Brewster Police officer. 

Ebony A colored individual. 

Mrs. Mason David's wife — a good adviser.- 

Dolores ? The miner's daughter. 

Mrs. Clifton George Clifton's deserted wife. 

Winxifred Clifton Mrs. Clifton's daughter. 

Hapzibah A lady of color. 

Festival nf Days. 

A NEW AND ORIGINAL SERIES OF TABLEAUX. 
It is especially designed for Amateur Companies, as it re- 
quires only a platform, no seenery being necessary 
for its production. Mirth, and Sadness are 
well combined. Costumes Modern. 
Time one hour. The following 
are the days represented. 
Price 15 Cents— Order a Copy. 

characters. 
Reader. 

New Year Chorus of girls in white. 

Washington's Birthday George Washington. 

Valentine's Day Maiden and lover. 

St. Patrick's Day Chorus of boys. 

Washing Day Girls at tubs. 

House-Cleaning Day Man and woman. 

April Fool's Day Old maid, and little boy. 

Ash Wednesday Monk. 

Good Friday Women at cross. 

Easter Chorus of girls in white. 

May Day May queen, chorus of children. 

Memorial Day Two soldiers. 

July Fourth Uncle Sam, boys. 

Emancipation Day Darkey. 

Hallowe'en Group of girls. 

Thanksgiving Day Man, little girl. 

Christmas Group of children. 



=«HAZEL ADAMS. 1 



A Drama in 3 acls by Clifton B. Jordan, 

for 6 male and 3 female characters. Costumes modern. 

Time of playing 1 hour and 45 minutes. 



-^Pi SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS. f=^r~ 

ACT I. — Mr. Adam's southern home — Mr. Adams lays down the 
law to Hazel — The quarrel — Mrs. Adams and Hazel — Chloe objects 
to being called a little coon — Basil Northcote and Hazel — The stolen 
kiss — Joe appears — The threat — "Would you murder me?" — Hazel in 
trouble — Joe's soliloquy — Trouble between Joe and Northcote — Moze 
and Joe— '"Jesus loves me dis I know. He will wash me white as 
snow," Joe doubts it — Moze and Joe arrange to whip Northcote — 
John Esterbrook alias George Beatty, the detective, and Mr. Adams, 
George's opinion of Northcote — Hazel interrupts the conversation 
— "I will never marry Northcote" — Moze and Joe, the stolen chicken 
— "Africa at Avar with herself. 

ACT II. — Mrs. Adams and Hazel waiting the return of Mr. Adams 
— The approaching storm — Arrival of Mr. Adams and Basil North- 
cote — The marriage license — "Oh! father, what does this mean?" — 
Mrs. Adams pleads for Hazel, but in vain — Anger of Mr, Adams — 
Hazel driven from home with a father's curse — Storm increases — 
The stolen papers — Mr. Adams discovers the thief — "Basil Northcote, 
you are a villain" — "Sign those papers, or they shall be stained with 
your life's blood" — Death of Mrs. Adams. 

ACT III. — Home of John Esterbrook and Hazel in the North— 
Moze arrives — The surprise — Bad tidings from the old home — Mr. 
Adams escapes from Northcote* and* is a wanderer — The villain in 
pursuit — Joe and John Esterbrook shadow the villain — Mr. Adams, 
as a beggar, half crazed, comes to Hazel's door during a storm — 
Hazel forgives him— Northcote discovers Mr. Adams— The attempted 
murder is foiled by the detective — Joe on guard — Arrest of North- 
cote — Happy reunion. 

"We's goin' back, we's goin' back, 
We's goin' whar de sweet magnolia blooms, 
We's goin' back, we's goin' back, 
We's goin' to our dear old Southern home." 

Price 1 5 cents. 



.ELmes' Plays — G antiniiBd. 



W). 

146 
53 
51 
59 

102 
63 
62 
58 

324 
136 
168 
124 
257 
248 
178 
176 
207 
199 
174 
158 
149 
37 
237 
338 

265 
114 
264 

219 
239 
221 
262 

131 

210 

16 



Our Awful Aunt 4 

Out in the Streets 6 

Rescued ~ 5 

Saved 2 

Turn of the Tide 7 

Three Glasses a Day 4 

Ten Nights in a Bar-Room... 7 

Wrecked 9 

COMEDIES. 
A Day In A Doctor's Office... 5 

A Legal Holiday » 

A Pleasure Trip 7 

An Afflicted Family 7 

Caught in the Act 7 

Captured 6 

Caste 5 

Factory Girl 6 

Heroic Dutchman of '76 8 

Home 4 

Love's Labor Not Lost 3 

Mr.Hudson's Tiger Hunt 1 

New Years in N. Y 7 

Not So Bad After All 6 

Not Such a Fool as He Looks 6 

OurBtys 6 

Our Daughters 8 

Pug and the Baby 5 

Passions 8 

Prof. James' Experience 

Teaching Country School 4 

Rags and Bottles 4 

Scale with Sharps and Flats.. 3 

Solon Shingle 14 

Two Bad Boys 7 

The Biter Bit 3 

The Cigarette 4 

$2,000 Reward 2 

TRAGEDIES. 

The Serf 6 



FARCES & COMEDIETTA S . 

129 Aar-u-ag-oos 2 1 

132 Actor and Sorvant 1 1 

316 Aunt Charlotte's Maid 3 3 

289 A Colonel's Mishap 5 

12 A Capital Matt-h..., 3 2 

303 A Kiss in the Dark 2 3 

166 ATexan Mother-in-Law 4 2 

30 A Day Well Spent 7 5 

169 A Regular Fix 2 4 

286 A Professional Gardener 4 2 

80 Alarmingly Suspicious 4 3 

320 Allln A Mud.le 3 3 

78 An Awf id Criminal 3 3 

313 A Matchmaking Father 2 2 



A Pet of the Public 4 

A Romantic Attachment 3 



rh 



Thrilling Item 3 1 

Ticket of Leave 3 2 

329 A Valets, Mistake 5 4 

324 A Day in a Doctors Office 5 1 

175 Betsey Baker 2 2 



22 

84 

2H7 

225 

317 

249 

49 

72 

19 

220 

188 

42 

148 

218 

224 

233 

1.54 

184 

274 

209 

13 

307 



271 
116 
120 

50 
140 

74 

35 
247 

95 
305 
599 

11 
323 

99 

82 
182 
127 
228 
302 

106 

28S 

139 

231 

235 

69 

23 

208 

212 

32 

186 

273 

296 

259 

.110 

334 

44 

33 



v. r. 

Better Half 5 2 

Black vs. Whit« 4 2 

Captain Smith .. 3 3 

Cheek Will Win 3 

Cousin Josiah 1 1 

Cupids Capers 4 4 

Cleveland's Reception Party. 5 3 

Double Election 9 1 

Der Two Surprises 1 1 

Deuce is in Him 5 1 

Did I Dream it 4 3 

Dutchy vs. Nigger 3 

Dutch Prize Fighter 3 

Domestic Felicity 1 1 

Eh? What Did You Say 3 1 

Everybody Astonished 4 

Fooling with the Wrong Man 2 1 

Freezing a Mother-in-Law... 2 1 

Fun in a Post Office 4 2 

Family Discipline 1 

Family Jars 5 2 

Goose with the Golden Eggs.. 5 3 

Give Me My Wife 3 3 

Hallabahoola, the Medicine 

Man 4 S 

Hans, the Dutch J. P 3 1 

Hans Brummel's Cafe 5 

Hash 4 2 

H. M.S. Plum 1 1 

How She has Own Way 1 3 

How He Popped the Quest'n. 1 1 

How to Tame M-in-Law 4 2 

How Stout Your Getting 5 2 

lncompatibilitv of Temper... 1 2 

In the Wrong Clothes 5 S 

Jacob Shlaff's Mistake 3 2 

Jimmie Jones :. 3 2 

John Smith 5 3 

Johnnes Blatz's Mistake 4 3 

Jumbo Jum 4 3 

Killing Time 1 



Kittie r s Wedding Cake...... 1 3 

Lick Skillet Wedding 2 2 

Laudorbach's Little Surprise 3 
Locked in a Dress-maker's 

Room 3 2 

Lodgings for Two 3 

Love in all Corners 5 8 

Matrimonial Bliss 1 1 

Match for a other-Min-Law.. 2 2 

More Blunders than one 4 3 

Mother's Fool 6 1 

My Heart's in Highlands 4 3 

My Precious Betsey 4 4 

My Turn Next 4 3 

My Wife's Relations 4 4 

My Day and Now-a-Days 1 

My Neighbor's Wife 3 3 

Nan ka's Leap Year Venture.. 5 2 

Nobody's Moke 5 2 

Our Hotel 5 3 

Olivet 3 2 

Obedience 1 2 

On the Sly 3 2 

rn 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




NO. 

57 
217 
165 
195 
159 
171 
180 
267 
309 

48 
138 
115 

55 
327 
232 
241 
270 
1 
326 
339 
137 
328 
252 
315 

40 

38 
101 
167 
291 
308 

285 
68 
295 
54 
28 
292 
142 
276 
263 
7 
281 
312 
269 
170 
213 
332 
151 
56 
70 
135 
li7 
155 

111 

157 



215 



Paddy Miles' Boy 5 2 

Patent Washing Machine 4 1 

Persecuted Dutchman 6 3 

PoorPilicody 2 3 

Quiet Family ... 4 4 

Rough Diamond 4 3 

Ripples 2 

Room 44 2 

Santa Claus' Daughter 5 4 

Schnaps 1 1 

Sewing Circle of Period 5 

S. H. A. M. Pinafore 3 3 

Somebody's Nobody 3 2 

Strictly Temperance 2 2 

Stage Struck Yankee 4 2 

Struck by Lightning 2 2 

Slick and SkinDer 5 

Slasher and Crasher 5 2 

Too Many Cousins 3 3 

Two Gentlemen in a Fix 2 

Taking the Census 1 1 

The Landlords Revenge 3 

That Awful Carpet Bag 3 3 

That Rascal Pat 3 2 

That Mysterious B'dle 2 2 

The Bewitched Closet 5 2 

TheComingMan 3 1 

Turn Him Out... 3 2 

The Actor's Scheme 4 4 

The Irish Squire of Squash 

Ridge 4 2 

The Mashers Mashed 5 2 

The Sham Professor 4 

TheSpellin' Skewl 7 6 

The Two T.J's 4 2 

Thirty-three Next Birthday.. 4 2 

Tim Flannigan 5 

Tit for Tat 2 1 

The Printer and His Devils.. 3 1 

Trial? of a Country Editor... . 6 2 

The Wonderful Telephone.... 3 1 

Two Aunt Emilys 8 

Uncle Ethan 4 3 

Unjust Justice 6 2 

U.S. Mail .. 2 2 

Vermont Wool Dealer 5 3 

Which is Which 3 3 

Wanted a Husband 2 1 

Wooing Under Difficulties 5 3 

Which will he Marry 2 8 

Widower's Trials 4 

Waking Him Up 1 2 

Why they Joined the Re- 
beccas 4 

Yankee Duelist 3 1 

Yankee Peddler 7 3 

GUIDE BOOKS. 

Hints on Elocution 

Hints to Amateurs 

CANTATA. 

On to Victory 4 f> 



NO. If. F. 

ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 

204 Academy of Stars 6 

A Coincidence 8 

An Unwelcome Return 3 1 

An Unhappy Pair 1 1 

Black Shoemaker 4 2 

Black Statue 4 2 

Colored Senators 3 

Chops 3 

Cuff's Luck 2 1 

Crimps Trip 5 

Fetter Lane to Gravesend 2 

Haunted House 2 

Hamlet the Dainty 6 1 

How Sister Paxey got her 

Child Baptized 2 

Handy Andy. 2 

Hypochondriac The 2 

In For It 3 

In the Wrong Box 3 

Joe's Visit 2 

Mischievous Nigger 4 

Midnight Colic 2 

Musical Darkey 



325 

65 

15 

172 

98 

22 

214 

145 

190 

27 

153 

230 



24 
236 

319 

47 

77 



256 
128 
90 
61 
244 
234 
150 
246 
109 
297 
134 
258 
177 
96 
107 
1S3 
179 
94 
243 
25 
92 
238 
10 
64 
253 
282 
122 
118 
6 
108 
245 
4 
197 
198 
216 
206 
210 
203 
205 
156 



No Cure No Pay 3 

Not as Deaf as He Scesas 3 

Old Clothes 3 

Old Dad's Cabin 2 

OldPompey 1 

Othello .. 4 

Other People's Children 3 

Pomp Green's Snakes 2 

Potnn's Pranks 2 

Prof. Bones'Latest Invention 5 

Quarrelsome Servants 3 

Rooms to Let 2 

School 5 



Seeing Bosting 3 

Sham Doctor 3 3 

16,000 Years Ago 3 

Sports on a Lark 3 

Sport with a Sportsman 2 

Stage Struck Darkey 2 1 

Strawberry Shortcake 2 

Stocks Up, Stocks Down 2 

That Boy Sam 3 1 

The Best Cure 4 1 

The Intelligence Office 3 

The Select School 

The Popcorn Man 3 1 

The Studio 3 

Those Awful Boys 5 

Ticket Taker 3 

Twain's Dodging 3 1 

Tricks 5 2 

Uncle Jeff 5 2 

Vice Versa 3 1 

Villkcns and Dinah, 4 1 

Virginia Mumir*-, 6 1 

Who Stole the Cnickens 1 1 

William Tell 4 

Wig-Maker and His Servants 3 

Happy Franks Songter 



3i 



The LittlelGem Make-Up Box. Prioe 50 Cents. 



